A Once-Moslem's Testimony: From Jihadist to Human

Recently I had the honor to read My Testimony by Avenging Apostate who blogs at Pedestrian Infidel. See video below. He originally wrote the article three years ago when he was 20 years old. He was raised in a devout Moslem home. He had loving parents and he was trained-up in the way of Islam. In his words:

I wanted to share this testimony publicly because I want people to know what Islam’s true colors are and to show what it's like being born in a Moslem family in Saudi Arabia. I feel I have a duty to do so too. I want to show how the horrors of Islam change people’s lives, break relationships and destroy homes—these are the experiences that might not be fully understood in the west. I hope my testimony helps save lives both spiritually and physically and in the meantime I hope I don’t get caught in Islam’s deadly embrace. You will know why I say that once you read this.

Avenging Apostate has given me permission to print My Testimony, but I have put up only one chapter, Part V, and I'm hoping you will follow the links and read Part I through IV and the conclusion at Pedestrian Infidel. While there are six parts to My Testimony, none are very long. Each is about the length of a moderate blog post. It is easy reading, the story of a childhood filled with loving parents and the purpose of life. The story of a teenager's questions and how he sought and found the answers he needed to feel whole. The video below is not Avenging Apostate's story, but it is a story that is not uncommon in the Moslem world. It tells the story of a different conversion...a 17 year old woman in a much different family living in America. And if you believe this young girl is "faking" it, remember the words of Avenging Apostate below, and stay with the video. You will change your mind. Here is Part V of Avenging Apostate's story: From a Jihadist to a Human--part five:

I started reading the first sura of the Koran, which is just plain prayer from a believer, which later I found out to be of pagan origin incorporated in the Koran as 'Allah's' words. Even the Koran distinguishes it in early Meccan suras from the rest of the Koran by calling it '7 oft-repeated verses'. It was good – I had no problem with that sura but after that when the second sura, called 'the cow', started. My mind was boggled by the 'hocus-pocus' I read in it. There was no point for any verse in it. It was like a mason trying to build a house but all the bricks were spread all around and he said 'ah! It is done'. But anyway, I moved on. Then, for yet another time, I was shocked – when I came across a verse in the same sura. It called women their husband's 'tilth' – I was taught that Islam placed women at the same level with men but this verse was saying something very inappropriate. The verse literally called women 'things' – property of their husbands whom the husbands were allowed to use the way 'they' pleased. Later on I found out why the verse was revealed and I was even more shocked – 'Allah' took the pains of telling the Moslems on which sexual position was alright for them to have sex in – what great guidance. I wonder why they created the Kamasutra when we have the Koran. I read on – I came across a lot of shocking things – Sura 4 made women into animals – Sura 5 made heaven into a brothel, a place just for men where they could find women as many as they wanted turned solely into prostitutes bought by the things they did on earth. Frankly it wasn't the Islam I was taught in my school and mosques. Maybe if I had stayed in Saudi Arabia longer I would have come across that teaching and would have accepted it too. But Pakistan was too shy to discuss all that. Mullahs discouraged reading translated Korans and told us that it was even better to read it, if we didn't understand it, because blind faith brings a person closer to 'Allah'. Then I don't know how – I started finding a soft spot in my heart for Jews and Christians. I was 16 now and I had read many many verses in the Koran that demonize and curse Jews and Christians. Almost every page in the Koran cursed them and most every Moslem conversation ends with the phrase 'Death to Israel'. Even the Friday sermon in the mosque contained, 'May Allah kill the Jews and Christians and give their wives, children and possessions to us.' And everyone said 'Amen' out loud. It was too much hatred for the Jews for me because now, unlike any other time in my life before, I was thinking and not walking in faith blindly. I read the Koran completely, more than once, and I didn't find it spiritual at all. In fact I found it to be a tyrannical-political system – created for the sole reason of getting power and subjugating others. I began to read my downloaded Bible. I found the Old Testament plain history so wasn't really impressed with that. It sounded just like the Koran, the only difference was that it seemed to have been written by someone with some writing sense and plus it was going somewhere. I read the New Testament and the love I found in it, especially in John 17, surprised me. The Gospel was all about loving others, and sacrificing yourself for others. It was nothing like the Islamic notion of sacrifice, killing others and then dying if an arrow penetrated your flesh accidentally and then calling it martyrdom. Christianity, I found, had the concept called martyrdom, but it was a totally different idea than the Islamic one. In it – you were not supposed to kick the other person's butt to get him to kill you and then attain the status of martyrdom but if someone attacked you – you were to not resist him but let him and sacrifice your life for God. This was a new concept for me. John 3.16, where it says, 'God so loved the world…' and the likes were new to me too. This is because, in Islam, 'Allah's' love is purely his favor, he stops favoring the person, that's his hatred. 'Allah' was a senseless being but this God I found in the Bible was a 'person', not a human, but a being who had sense. He wasn't a machine asking its creation to be like robots, but He was a being who created humans in His own image as friends, as His children.

Thank you to Carol's Blog who first introduced me to the "testimony" of Avenging Apostate in her article Moving Account of Bravery. Thank you to Always on Watch for the video as well as her own compelling story that you will want to read: Rifqa Bary - And a Personal Story